Reality Check
by love.always.forever.1335
Summary: RaphxDonnie Donnie has to choose between what is better for himself and what is better for his team after he learns a surprising secret about Raph. Rated M for scenes to come in later chapters
1. Chapter 1

Chapter Title: Life is Good

Story takes place in 2012 world when the turtles are about 16 y/o.

Donnie POV

I wake up every morning with a smile on my face. I guess you could say I'm happy to be alive. I'm happy to have such a loving family. I'm happy that I'm not just a boring pet turtle. Yeah, I'm happy about all these things. But most importantly, I'm happy that I have such awesome brothers. Life is good.

No day is ever the same with them in my life. Some days are more predictable than others, but we will never fall into a routine. Living is so much fun with them in my life. Mikey is always up to something. Leo has his moments. And Raph…well…he has his qualities. We never really get along or anything. I quite actually don't know that much about him. I mean, I know some of the more important things. But he isn't exactly the easiest guy to talk to. One wrong word and you are pinned to the ground with the pointed end of sai hovering above your face. Trust me; I've been in that position.

No one ever knows what goes on in his room. The door is always locked. The lights are always turned off. There's never any sound coming out of there. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever actually been in his room. The whole way, I mean. I've stood in the doorway, but had the door slammed in my face as my punishment for my wrongdoings. I wonder what he's got in there. He almost never comes out unless he has to.

But none of that is really important. I have a good relationship with two out of my three brothers, so I guess it's all okay. Besides, doesn't every family have the set of siblings that never seem to get along? But, Raph never gets along with anyone.

_God! Donatello, stop thinking. It's been 10 minutes and you're still in bed._ I climbed out of my bed and walked into the living room. What time is it? Mikey is already awake and watching some kind of cartoon. It has to be after noon. It's easily after noon.

"Mikey, what time is it?" I asked rubbing my eyes. I'm usually the first one up.

"Seven." Mikey responded keeping his eyes fixated on the television screen.

I knew it wasn't after noon, "What are you doing up so early?" I asked sitting down next to him on the couch.

"I couldn't sleep. It was just one of those nights, I guess." He shrugged.

"Mikey, that's the third time this week you haven't been able to sleep. Is there something going on?" I asked putting my hand on his shell in concern.

"It's nothing Donnie. I just have a lot on my mind."

"Are you sure…" I find it very hard to believe. Mikey likes to sleep and he doesn't really do much thinking.

"Yeah, I'm fine…It's just…" he dropped his head and clasped his hands together.

"Mikey, what is it?" I asked more concerned now than I was before.

"There are tons of weird noises coming from Raph's room. They woke me up" He looked up at me.

Mikey's room is the closest to Raph's. They are practically the same room with a thin wall in between. That's how my and Leo's rooms are. But Leo has never really bothered me as a neighbor. I'm sure though, that Raphael isn't the friendliest neighbor in the hallway.

Is that all, just some noises. "Go back to bed Mikey. Get some sleep. I'll go talk to Raph and ask him what he's up to." What am I saying? Going to Raph's room…voluntarily. He'll cream me, or worse… But I have to. For Mikey.

I watched Mikey walk back to the bedrooms and close the door behind him. I then swallowed my pride and stood up. I sighed and started walking in the direction of Raph's room. The closer I got to Raph's room, the quieter it got. I really shouldn't be doing this. I look one last look at my body before knocking on the door. Wait, do I have my staff? I'm gonna need some kind of protection for when Raph tries to kill me for waking him up this early. It was on my shell. I must have instinctively slid it in after I stood up.

Okay, no more being a chicken. I knocked on the door quietly at first. Then a little louder. He never opened the door. I assume he is still asleep. What the hell am I doing? I'm turning the doorknob. He's gonna kill me. But curiosity overcame me. I had to know what was really in his room. I took a swift step into the room, leaving the door open for a speedy escape in case he wakes up. I looked over at his bed. He was resting so peacefully. I could hear that noise Mikey was referring to. It appears that Raph has a really bad snoring problem. I chuckled a bit and Raph must have heard it. He began to rustle in his bed. Please don't wake up. Please Please Please do not wake up. It must have been having a lucky day. He stayed asleep. I could tell because he was starting to snore even louder.

I took the opportunity to explore the contents of his room. His sai were thrown about the floor carelessly. Ninja stars were lodged into the wall waiting to be pulled out and thrown. His mask lay on the side of the bed. No questions that is where all the holes and tears came from. It looked like a lot of weaponry. Nothing else really. I know he has a desk somewhere. I know because I helped him build it so many years ago. I searched every corner of the dark room until I stubbed my toe against a piece of wood. Found it. It was too dark to see anything. And I didn't dare turn the light on and risk Raph waking up.

Oh well, at least I have some kind of feeling for what Raph's room is really like.

"What are you doing in my room?" I head a harsh voice from behind my shell.

I gulped in terror as I slowly turned around, "Nothing. I was just…" I was cut off.

"Get Out Of My Room." Raph's eyes turned white and the reflection of the outside light revealed that his sai were pointed at me.

"Okay, Okay. No need to get so violent. I'll be on my way out." I backed away from Raphael and slowly crept towards the door, keeping my hands very close to my staff in case of any sudden movements and my eyes fixated on Raphael's sai.

My heart was racing as I worried Raph was gonna finish me then and there. There was clearly something there that he didn't want me to find out about. Raph's steps were synchronized with mine as he backed me out of his room. I found the courage to speak, "I just wanted to tell you that your snoring is keeping Mikey awake. He's been having trouble sleeping these past few days and he would really appreciate if you would keep it down."

Raph looked a little embarrassed. I guess he didn't want anyone to know he had a really bad snoring problem. He dropped the sai on the ground and I sighed in relief. No sooner did the sai hit the ground before I found myself pinned against the wall, Raph's forearm blocking my airways and raising me up at least six inches off the ground. "Don't tell anyone about my snoring problem. You got that, Donatello." He spit in my face as he spoke.

Struggling to breathe, I nodded my head in understanding and prayed that my life be spared this morning. He dropped me without warning, "Now. Get out!" he shouted as I ran out of the room. He slammed the door behind me practically shaking the entire lair.

"I…am never…going back…in that room…" I said to myself while I struggled for air. I quickly ran off to my lab.

No one saw me for a good eight hours. I was honestly too afraid to leave my lab. I worried that Raph was waiting for me outside, waiting for me to leave so he could finish what he started that morning. I was paranoid. I just built everything. Every piece of scrap metal I had lying around, I formed into some kind of machine. Every book on my shelf was opened to a different page. I had to find some way to occupy my mind.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. "Hey, Donnie. Come out here man. There's pizza!" Mikey's voice announced cheerfully.

My stomach couldn't resist. It started growling louder than I had ever heard it before. I was practically starving. I hadn't eaten a bite of food since dinner last night. And now it's almost 3:00 in the afternoon and I'm craving a few slices of pizza.

"I'll be right out, Mikey. Just let me clean up a bit." I bought myself some time before I had to leave the lab.

"Kay, hurry up." His voice got softer as he walked away from my lab.

I tidied up my mess and slowly opened the door, scouting for Raph before leaving the room.

"What are you doing?" Leo asked standing behind my door.

He must have thought I was an idiot. I'm leaving my lab as if I were some kind of criminal who just committed a serious crime. "Oh, nothing. Just, you know, looking and stuff." I mentally face palmed so hard at how lame I sounded

He looked at me with a face of pure confusion, "Come on brainiac, let's get some pizza. You've been in your lab too long." He smiled as we walked to the kitchen together.

Leo took the seat next to Mikey. There was only one seat left…the one next to Raph. I smirked a little as I sat down next to him. I went to grab a slice of pizza, but Raph quickly took the piece I was reaching for. I glared at him a little and went for another piece. He took that one too. "Raph! Cut it out!" I shouted, my voice cracking a little.

"You gonna cry, Donatello? Are you a baby?" he took my voice crack as an increased frequency signaling a cry.

"No, I'm not gonna cry." I pouted a little. He made me feel so inferior.

"Raph, knock it off and give Donnie the pizza." Leo gave him a stern glare.

He handed me the pizza and continued eating. He didn't say another word to anyone the rest of lunch. After lunch, I mustered up enough courage to confront Raphael about what happened that morning. "Raph, I'm sorry about going in your room this morning. I know I shouldn't have done it and I made a poorly thought out choice," I started following him into the living room, "But that doesn't mean you have to be a bully or anything."

He turned and looked straight at me, "You are not sorry. There is no part of you that is sincerely sorry about going into my room. So yeah, I'm gonna be mean to you. Because you broke the rules." He flashed a diabolical grin in my direction.

"Raph, I'm not gonna tell anyone about your sno-" I found myself on the ground no more than a second later.

"Are you an idiot?! Mikey and Leo are in the next room. For someone that's not gonna tell my secret, you're talking pretty loud." He reached behind him for his sai as I struggled to get a grip on my staff.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I pleaded as his foot crushed my plastron. "I really won't tell anyone. Just please get off of me."

He pressed the outmost tip of his sai against my forehead. He didn't press as hard as I though he would, but it was hard enough to open a small hole in my forehead. "Don't mess with me, Donnie. I'm not afraid to press harder." He snarled as he let me up off the ground.

"Thanks" I swallowed standing up and fixing my sash.

"Just go" he shooed me away with the flick of his hand. I ran back to the comfort and safety of my lab. I checked the fresh wound dripping a thin line of blood before I started working on my machines again. After a few minutes of applying pressure, the bleeding stopped and I resumed my work, aware that a scar would form very soon. Raph wasn't about to let this go so soon. We would be doing this for at least a few weeks.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Title: Take Two.

Donnie POV

I haven't been able to stop thinking about Raph's room. There's so much I have yet to explore, and being the curious one, the suspense is killing me! I had to wait for a time when I knew Raph would be out for a certain time period. Raph likes to leave the lair, but it's difficult to be sure how long he'll be gone. Sometimes he's gone for hours, and other times he comes back in 10 minutes. There's no way of determining which it will be. And I would hate to get caught again he might actually kill me if he finds me in there again.

Then suddenly it hit me. Patrol. We are always out for a certain amount of time when we go on patrol. I would easily be able to sneak in there while he goes on patrol. Only one more problem, how am I gonna get out of patrol? Leo says it's a requirement, unless there is a legitimate reason like an injury or something. But I can't miss this opportunity. I'll have to think of something…

"Donnie!" Mikey screamed from outside my room.

…And quick. I hopped into my bed and pulled the covers over my body. "Come in Mikey," I said as I rested my head on my pillow.

The door slowly opened and Mikey popped his head in, "It's time for patro-whoa, are you okay?"

"I don't think I can patrol tonight. I'm not feeling very well." I lied hoping it would get me out of patrol. I hate lying to my brothers, but I really don't think I had another choice. I need to know what Raph's hiding in his room.

"I'll go get Leo." Mikey looked worried.

"Mikey, No" I tried to stop him, but I was too late. He was already halfway to the living room. Moments later, Mikey returned with Leo at his side.

"Mikey says you're not feeling well" Leo leaned against the doorframe.

I really hate lying to Leo; I'm so bad at it, "Yeah. I think I forgot to wash my hands after I worked in the lab. The chemicals must have gotten on my food." Why am I such a bad liar?

"Well, you do look green," he tried to joke with me, "Well, greener than usual." He smiled. Leo tried that same stupid joke every time someone was sick, and it has never been funny since the first time.

"That has never been funny, Leo." I made a serious face and feigned stomach pain…very poorly, I might add.

"Well, if you really don't feel well, it wouldn't be right for you to patrol." He thought out loud.

"If you insist, darn, I was looking forward to patrol tonight. I had a new gadget we can use to spy on Shredder." Is there any worse a liar than me?

"You can play with your new toy tomorrow or something. The important thing is that you get better. We wouldn't wanna risk anything." Leo stood as far away from me as possible as he did when someone was ill. If there was one thing Leo hated, it was being sick. So obviously he wasn't worried about me risking myself, but worried that he could catch it.

"Relax brainiac, if it's a chemical thing, you can't catch it." I read his mind and stared at the ceiling.

Leo seemed to ease up a bit, "I know that…it's just, better safe than sorry. We are going out. Don't wait up." Leo half-smiled at me, I have a feeling he knows I'm faking and is just playing along.

"I didn't plan on it." I smiled back at him.

"Give one of us a call if you need us, and feel better."

Now moaning and gagging to make my story seem more believable, I cut through my speech, "Alright, I'll be here I guess. Have fun." I waved my hand as if I were on my deathbed or something. He smiled before running out of my room.

After I heard the turnstile rotate three times, I jumped out of my bed and ran over to Raph's room. Unfortunately, I was stopped on my way by Splinter.

"Donatello, Leonardo told me of your ailment. You should be in bed, my son." He sternly 'suggested' by which I mean insisted.

I sighed and looked at my father, "Hai sensei. I was just on my way to the bathroom, then I will go straight back to bed." I bowed my head in respect and hoped the questioning would end.

"The bathroom is in the other direction, Donatello." He looked at me with a confused face as if he wanted to ask how stupid I actually am.

God this lying thing never gets easier, "It is. Silly me. I must be sicker than I thought." I chuckled a little and turned to face the other direction. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to use the bathroom. Goodnight, sensei." I started running away as awkwardly as possible. I could still feel my father's confused gaze on my shell as I turned the corner.

"Goodnight, Donatello." I heard him shout I closed the bathroom door behind me. I looked at myself in the mirror and splashed some cold water on my face. After a few minutes, I carefully left the bathroom, peeking around the corner to see if Splinter was still standing there. Fortunately, he had gone back to his room for the night and I would finally be able to get into Raph's room.

The door creaked slightly as I slowly pushed it open. Taking a few steps inside, I remembered the fear I felt the last time I snuck into his room. My heart raced in my chest as I walked further into Raphael's room. The memories of being pinned against the wall and threatened haunted me as I walked past the wall. I was fairly certain there was a dent in the wall where he bashed my head against it. If only I could see, it was so dark in there.

I ran both hands along the walls to locate the light switch, as a blind person would. Eventually, I located the switch and flicked the lights on. Blinded by the initial change in brightness, I squinted my eyes as I took my first real look around the room. I saw the same things, with a lack of weaponry as he had taken them on patrol with him. But as I turned to examine the desk, I noticed something unusual. The desk I built for him, the one I helped bring into his room, was covered with my photographs. I walked closer. Plastered with photograph after photograph of me that I didn't even know existed; some from as far back as our toddler years. Memorabilia of me lined the shelves of the desk. There were things like a piece of my mask, a splintered edge of my staff, an empty vile of Hydrochloric Acid from my lab. That doesn't even begin to describe the things he has here. 

I wouldn't have thought much of it until I realized that it was only for me. Leo and Mikey were nowhere to be found on his desk, with the exception of a few family photos he had pinned to the sides. A collage of my life and my symbols plastered his desk, and no one ever knew about it.

Naturally, my first assumption was that he had some sort of vendetta for me and he created this to remind him how much he wanted me dead. My heart raced and sweat beat down my forehead. Was that his master plan all along? To collect my things so he could some way use them against me leading to my ultimate demise… That is something Raphael would do. I know from personal experience that Raph would have no trouble bashing my head into the ground until I was six feet under.

But taking another look at it, I realized that it was not as much a murder plot as it was a shrine dedicated to me. But why would Raph build a shrine for me? He can't stand me. He's always criticizing me every chance he gets. Could it be that he criticizes me because he loves me. I've seen it happen in movies where someone is incredibly mean only to turn around and be in love with the same character they inflict pain on.

But that's ridiculous. Raph can't be in love with me…can he? He's never shown any signs of physical attraction, or emotional attraction, or any kind of attraction towards me…unless aggression counts as an attraction.


End file.
